It’s been a while guys! I feel like I always start out a blog post this way as of late, but I am determined to do better. Aiming for second half of 2022 haha. I have been SO tired and SO busy and just having a hard time to making time for this…I still love you guys and my blog. BUT I wanted to share my crazy first trimester in hopes that it will help someone and also share about why this pregnancy felt so unexpected.
I will be honest, I did have some baby fever, but isn’t that common? We were done. January I went in for my well woman exam, fun times. Well to my dismay, there was an abnormal finding. The doctor stated I had a bulge in my uterus and wanted to do further testing to determine what it was. I had a regular ultrasound that was inconclusive and had to go in for a saline infused sonogram, not fun. Based on the location of concern, my doctor basically told me I would be infertile and could not get pregnant without removal. It was also advised to be removed sooner than later if I was experiencing other symptoms. Fortunately, I did not have any extra painful symptoms, just this suspicious “bulge”. Per the second testing, it was also inconclusive but it did state there was a 50% chance it was polyps. Unfortunately during all of this, my wonderful OBGYN ended up quitting and so I had to go to another. The new one agreed that based on location, it would make me infertile and recommended we proceed to surgery to determine exactly what it was & she would sweep my uterus, basically a D&C.
I decided to hold off on surgery until summer as I had so many other things going on, professionally and trips planned, etc. Plus my son was potentially needing surgery as well (another story). Welp, by the time I met with this doctor, it was March. By the literal next month, I miraculously got pregnant, confirmed this in May. To say I was shocked, still am, is an understatement. I am struggling with 2 kids and still not sure how we will manage 3, but God has other plans. Now you may be wondering, what happened to the bulge? It’s still there and my new OB (a 3rd one in 1 year) is unsure if it will cause complications down the road. We will just monitor it and I am definitely praying all will be well.
Let’s talk the first trimester. I feel like this is the HARDEST time. There is this rule that no one can know, yet most people are SUFFERING tremendously in silence, continuing business as usual. I really think we need to stop doing this. Out of all 3 of my pregnancies, this was by far the most challenging one. I had nausea and symptoms with all of them, but this one hit different. The nausea was SOOO intense and I wish I could have just puked, but instead it was like a constant dry heave. I had major taste aversions, and could not stomach ANYTHING - no bread, no water, no dairy, no fruits or vegetables, NOTHING. Literally I was barely getting crackers and water down. I did find vinegar-y things helped like pickles. I lost 15 lbs due to this. These symptoms lasted for 17 weeks!
This is how I really spent the first 17 weeks, don’t let my social media fool you.
On top of this, I just felt ILL. Like I had the flu, or not to be dramatic but like I was dying. It’s really hard to verbalize this feeling, but it was miserable. My head ached constantly. My feet got super dry like sandpaper. Sorry to keep complaining, but I am trying to paint the picture for you guys and not sharing for pity, but hoping to let someone know they aren’t alone. I was peeing every 2 seconds despite the fact that I was barely drinking water. Juice, ginger, tea, coffee, none of those were tolerable. My boobs were so tender and they grew 6 SIZES, I had heartburn out the wazoo (that still is here), reflux, bowel issues (Ill spare you the details), major mood swings, smell sensitivity, BP issues, did I mention extremely nauseous? I also had this over-spit production and I couldn’t bare to swallow it as my own spit made me nauseous, so I had to carry a spit rag or spit mug to spit into. There are a few other symptoms that I will not share, but I felt like I was a walking health line symptom checker list. Only I could not walk cause I was too drained and sick to do so.
Now imagine having all that going on and having to show up for work and for life every day and pretending like I am okay. During this time, I got moved into a lead role, which requires more work (nope not more pay…another story for another day too). The first trimester is REALLY hard and the suffering in silence is part is really what gets me. I kept waiting day after day after day to feel better and at many points I thought this was going to be me the entire time. And sadly there are women who suffer like this or even worse the entire time. My heart goes out to them. But there are also those people who do not have many or any symptoms, so if you are reading this, please dont let my experience scare you. I do think that there has to be a way to take care of mothers better during the first trimester. I do not have feasible solutions, but something has got to give. Heck there needs to be a way to take care of expecting/mothers in general, am I right?
Blake came in often to check on Mommy & keep me company!
I am happy to report that I am now 28 weeks and after I passed 17 weeks, I started to feel MUCH better. After passing that point, this has been one of the better pregnancies. The food aversions have not completely disappeared but there are quite a few less aversions and my taste buds are for the most part back to normal. My energy is back up, the nausea is gone, the headaches are less frequent, I am swallowing my spit like a normal person, and just overall doing better. I had a ton of round ligament pain with the other pregnancies and much less this time around. If you are going through it, know you are not alone, and also know it will get better. MOST people are better after the first trimester or right around the sweet 16 weeks mark. If it does continue past, believe me, it will one day only be memory and these type of things tend to fade. Even as I was writing this, I can recall the hell I felt, but cannot vividly describe it as best as I could 10 or so weeks ago. Your baby will be worth it. If you have a safe person to share the news with, do it, you need support. Lean on your support system and definitely talk to your doctor. I felt very alone as we have little to no support here. Most of my family lives in different parts of the country. I am so grateful to my husband for holding it down with the boys. There were a couple friends who knew early on that let me just complain. Anyway, back to the doctor, so many symptoms are a “wait and get better” but if it starts to cause you and baby harm, then a bigger conversation needs to be had with your doctor. I report every little thing to the doctor, just to be safe.
I also want to recognize the miracle here. I know that many women struggle with fertility issues. I am not in any way trying to diminish this. I am thankful that God gave me a chance to carry another child despite being told otherwise. I can only imagine the pain that some women endure with being told they cannot have kids. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I pray that God will bestow a miracle unto you in some way, shape or form.
As always, thanks for stopping by, XoXo. Curious to hear, to the mamas, how was your first trimester?